How to Preach so as to Convert Nobody!

*  Do not to say anything to offend and if you don’t offend you can’t convert anybody.

*  Let your sermons be literary, flowery, ornate, flowing beautifully so your hearers never remember the lack of content. Be sparing of thought lest your sermon contain enough truth to convert someone. 

* Avoid preaching doctrines that are offensive to the carnal mind. Deal with sin, hell, and judgment in the abstract and make no allusion to the sins of your audience.

 * Preach salvation by grace,  but ignore the condemned and lost condition of the sinner, lest he should understand what you mean by grace, and sense his need of it. 

*  Make no appeal to the fears of sinners, such as hell and judgment,  but make the impression that they have no reason to fear.  After all, God loves them.

*  Preach the love of God and ignore the holiness of His love. Do not rebuke the worldly tendencies of the church, lest you should hurt their feelings and convert some of them.

 * Select your themes and so present them as to please the sport’s minded, the academic, the wealthy, the self-indulgent, the extravagant, the pleasure-seeking classes, and you won’t see any of them repent of their sin, confess their sin, acknowledge, and confess  Christ as Lord.

 * Ridicule solemn earnest Christianity which  pulls sinners out of the fires of hell.  Instead, discuss fantasy literature and and sinners will have little respect for serious preaching.  Tell your audience that the first 3 chapters of Genesis don’t mean what they say.  This will help them to doubt the truth found in the rest of the bible.

 * Cultivate fastidious tastes in your people by avoiding all disagreeable allusions to the existence of a literal hell, the last judgment, and final retribution. 

 * Ignore  biblical and uncomfortable doctrines as obsolete and out of place. And so exhibit religion as to encourage the selfish pursuit of it.

* Make the impression upon sinners that their own safety and happiness is the supreme motive of being religious. And see to it that you say nothing to any of your hearers that they are lost sinners on the road to hell who need a Savior.  

That’s the way to preach so as to convert nobody!!  What you are left with is, words full of nothing, devoid of truth  that fails to convict nor leads to the conversion of anyone.